The meeting had originally been intended to vote on whether our church plant would join a certain denomination. But because of what had happened earlier that year when our pastor unexpectedly resigned, attendance had plummeted, and what everyone had discovered at the meeting was that the church didn't have enough money to meet the requirements to join the denomination. And so the meeting had a very different outcome than what we had anticipated. The congregation instead voted to hold a vote to dissolve the church plant.
Our family had already made the decision to leave the church at the end of January. Our thought behind the timing was that it wouldn't be right after Christmas, our boys would be back in school, and it would give us time to transition our family into a new church and hopefully give Christian some time to look for a new job. This decision meant that our timeline was reduced by a month, that his job would be over at the end of December, and we would need to find a new church as soon as possible.
It was an Advent season that gave us a bit of a taste of what it seems like the Bible intends for times of waiting to really feel like. Certain moments of joy and anticipation surrounding Christmas, but mostly overshadowed with sorrow and grief. Months of mourning the loss of our pastor and friend was culminating in the loss of our church and the experience of watching the church family we loved struggle to figure out what to do next.
It was the first Sunday in January when we visited Riverside Community Church for the first time. We did not have a long-term plan. This was a church where we knew the gospel was being preached, where we had a few relationships with people there, where we could be relatively anonymous and not have to share our story right away, and where our boys could find friends and be ministered to. We weren't interested in visiting a bunch of churches--we just didn't have the emotional energy. And so after that first Sunday, we never left. We cast our lot in with those people and at the time, said in our hearts with confidence, "This is where we will be until God calls us somewhere else." We had no idea how long that would be. Christian had already started interviewing at various churches around the country for a new pastoral position.
And so we waited. We did not know what we were waiting for or how long we would be waiting. As we got plugged into a small group and experienced the weekly preaching of the Word and corporate worship with other believers, I could feel some parts of me begin to be put back together. As we tried to get to know some of the other families there, even as we knew we might not be there much longer, I sensed God revealing to me through those people his grace and love and mercy and kindness. As I formed some deeper relationships and felt safe enough to share certain parts of what had happened at our previous church, I could almost physically feel my heart begin to heal. The pain was not gone, but it wasn't as fresh as it had been.
When Christian was offered and accepted a job as a pastor at the church in May, it seemed too good to be true. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. But the summer passed and he began his position, and the elders decided that while they saw Christian as qualified to be an elder at the church, they wanted to give the congregation time to get to know him and affirm him themselves.
And so Christian got to work, and we waited. For me it wasn't that I had some grand vision of Christian having a high-profile role as an elder at the church. But I had seen my husband fulfill the role of an elder for the past two years, and at our previous church, they kept holding ordination out like a carrot dangling from a stick. And once our pastor left, that all dissolved as well. Christian being called as an elder at Riverside would just be confirmation that yes, God had called him to this work of serving and shepherding God's people.
We waited four-and-a-half months, and then last night, at the last congregational meeting of the year, Riverside's members voted to affirm Christian as an elder. It was anticlimactic in the sense that Christian has been pastoring for the entire fall season. Nothing about the vote really changed anything in terms of his job description. But it was a signpost, a marker, an Ebenezer, if you will—that God has not abandoned us. Even as we tried to trace his plan last fall and failed every time, he was working and preparing Christian and our family for what would come. I could never have fathomed sitting in a room last night with 100 people who we have come to know and love, and think of the kindness and care they have shown us, and then have them affirm that they wanted Christian to be one of their shepherds. To know that we are in a safe place. Not a perfect place by any means, but a place where God is working in the hearts of his people. We have friendship and love and community. Our children are known and cared for.
I will build my house,
Whether storm or drought,
On the rock that does not move.
I will set my hope
In your love, O Lord,
And your faithfulness will prove...
You are steadfast, steadfast;
By the word, you spoke;
All the starry host
Are called out by name each night.
In your watchful care
I will rest secure
As you lead us with your light.
You are steadfast, steadfast.
--Sandra McCracken
