If They Can, Why Can't We?

Depression. Counseling. Anxiety. Therapy. Mental Health.

I think the attitude toward these words, toward these things, is changing, but even now, there is so much stigma attached to them. My impressions of these words for the first two-thirds of my life was that they were way "out there," that sure, some people had to deal with those things, but only in very serious situations.

I have been encouraged to see Christians begin to talk about these things out in the open. But what is even more interesting to me is to see non-Christians talk about them. Bunmi Laditan, the genius behind the Honest Toddler, writes openly and poignantly on her Facebook page about her battles with anxiety. From what she writes, it seems like she has made peace with her anxiety, at least to the extent that she can.

Even more recently, Kristen Bell, star of Frozen and my personal favorite, Veronica Mars, shared in a recent interview that she has struggled with anxiety and depression since her late teens. With the encouragement of her mother, who explained that mental health issues run strongly on the female side of her family, she began taking medication, which she says has helped tremendously.

I love how Bell compares her mental health issues to diabetes. Part of my own story is that taking medication truly changed my life. The fact that things changed so drastically once I had consistent amounts of an anti-depressant in my system proved to me that at least one component of my struggles was purely biological. It was not something I could choose to stop experiencing. More prayer, more Bible reading, more counseling was not going to fix it.

As I've watched this women talk openly in public spaces about these things, I've been encouraged to talk about it myself with other people. I'm not interested in trying to shock people with my transparency about my struggles. My goal instead is to say, "This has been very hard for me, but Jesus has carried me through and continues to carry me." Additionally, I want to be a safe place for other people to talk about what they're experiencing.

It's been amazing to me that sometimes, almost as soon as I utter the words "depression" or "anxiety," the person with whom I'm speaking blurts out, "I've struggled with that as well!" Instantly, a deep bond is formed between us, and it is no longer something to be ashamed of, but rather, something to talk about honestly.

I find it ironic that those who do not claim to believe the gospel are brave enough to share their struggles. They are not afraid to own their weakness.

So why are we? Why do we try to pretend like we have it all together? Even if you haven't ever been diagnosed with depression or anxiety, we are all guilty of building up a facade that looks good. We may even go so far as to use social media to reveal minor failings--I did just that on Sunday with a fail of a Mother's Day picture with my boys. But what if I were brave enough to admit that sometimes, when I'm with my boys and my anxiety is through the roof and they are continually talking so much so that my brain feels like it might explode, I will think about how all I want to do is run away from them and never see them again.

That is a momentary thought, and it passes, but I've had it more than once. And it's not the kind of thing you really want to post on Facebook or Instagram. It's ugly and dark.

But because of what Jesus has done, I can say it. I can say it to him, I can say it to Christian, and I can say it to trusted friends. Because that feeling is not the end of the story. Because of what Jesus has done, there is room to grow and grace to do it.

This morning we were in a rush to get out the door and both of the boys were talking at the same time. I felt my chest getting tight and just knew I was going to lose it at one or both of them. But almost as if someone else were controlling me, I put my hand on one of their shoulders and said quietly, "Hold on, sweetie, until your brother is finished talking."

Medication and counseling and pursuing spiritual disciplines have been vital to trudging out of the darkness I was in for many months. But Jesus can take me further than any of those things ever can. And because I know that he can and I know he will continue to do so, I will keep talking about those hard things. Truly, we're the only ones who should feel the most courage to do so.d